Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
