is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
