I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
