WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
