I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
