I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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