$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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