You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
