She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have aggressive nipples.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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