he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
