I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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