I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
