HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Oh god it's open bar.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
