i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
