I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you inspire me to be a worse person
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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