What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
