i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
