Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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