just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
