so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
