She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
