ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
