none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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