hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
