we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
