a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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