Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize