He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
