God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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