Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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