I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
