dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
