this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
