IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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