Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
