they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
