i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
