i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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