i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You ruined the universe
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
