I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
