you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
