We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
