It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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