He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
