I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There's always time for handjobs
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
