Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This house was built for laser tag.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
