Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
