allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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