Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
