I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Naked Twister starts at high noon
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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