please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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