I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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