so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just took my morning after pill in the library
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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