no. you can't hotbox the world.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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