Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
