where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didn't shave. On purpose
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
