is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm passing your future prison.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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