He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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