): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
