I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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