you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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