it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
