me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
please come you make the beer taste better
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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