she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
