All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you had me at cake vodka
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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